As I write this post, I am currently on a plane headed back to Houston, TX.
My heart feels like it is being wrenched in a million different directions right now as I reflect on the rich experiences and wonderful connections I developed with the people of Masaya, Nicaragua over the past nine weeks and think about all of the things about Nicaragua that I will terribly miss. I have been having difficulty controlling my water works since last night, after giving a last hug to my host grandmother, Doña Amparo, before my early morning departure today.
The last few days have been filled with despedidas (good-bye parties), excessive amounts of smoothies and nacatamals, and too many farewell hugs. I am terrible at saying good-byes, but farewell get-togethers are important to me because I desire a sense of conclusion.
On Wednesday, I treated two of the pregnant adolescent patients who had the best attendance at my workshops at the Roberto Clemente health post to smoothies at my favorite place in the Parque Central. Nory (in the center) is expecting her baby in the next month while Jessica (on the right) is expecting hers in December (a Christmas present)!
On Thursday, I planned to lead my very, very last Chicas Poderosas session on myths about sex and use of contraceptives, but since school got dismissed early that day, around half of the girls already had unfortunately already left by the time I arrived. However, as always, the same group of girls lingered around after school, waiting for me, so I still decided to run the session. In addition to these girls, a few of their male friends (who participated in the environmental health presentation for the primary students) also joined. It turned out to be an absolutely wonderful, eye-opening session – for both the students and me- and it deserves its own blog post in the future. At the end of the meeting, after exchanging email, Whatsapp and Facebook information, the students begged me to come back the next day for a more proper good-bye with everyone. Thus, on Friday, I returned another time!
On Friday, the room was packed with more girls than chairs. Since the club’s inception six weeks ago, some new additions were made because of friends asking friends to come along, and the club expanded. In addition to reviewing the information that I had discussed with the smaller group the day before (I had the girls who were there on Thursday to help me present.), I gave them final evaluation forms to fill out so they could reflect on their individual experiences participating in the club as well as provide feedback with ideas about how to improve the club. I stayed at the school long after the Friday session ended to help out a fellow intern with conducting parent interviews for her health research on contraceptive knowledge. I spent a great deal of time posing for pictures photos with them on our cell phones and chatting with several of them one-on-one and in small groups. They all told me that I had to come back during a future vacation and to never ever forget them.
Brenda, Sara, Rebeca, Morelia, and Miguel stayed behind to chat longer, and I got the opportunity to introduce them to some of my fellow interns who showed up to help out with the parent interviews. Listening to them rant on and on about all they have learned and done over the past six weeks to my friends made me very proud. They told them that they would not get boyfriends or have sexual relations until they are old and mature enough to handle the responsibility. They told me they did not want to end up like Ana and Pablo (a fictional teenage pair that had an accidental, unwanted pregnancy in a scenario that I had them act out in an early session). Not wanting to say goodbye to them just yet, I invited them to spend the following afternoon in the Parque Central for a small despedida with their friend group. They excitedly agreed and made plans amongst their group.
On Saturday, five of them showed up (three couldn’t go because their parents would not let them). Since they all live in different locations throughout Monimbo, the southern district of Masaya, they had left their houses at 1 PM to walk/take the bus to meet each other and then come meet me. All in all, it was a two-hour trip for them to come out to the park to meet me! I had no idea it would take them that long, and their act of doing so was a gift I will never forget. It was the first time I had seen them out of their school uniforms, and they all looked gorgeous wearing beautiful, colorful clothing and fancy bags. I treated them to Oreos and smoothies and we laughed and joked about experiences we shared together in Chicas Poderosas. They told me how sad they would be to have me gone with a nurse leader in my place – it just wouldn’t be the same. We walked around the park and then watched a cultural show, which was a sort of pageant competition for young girls that involved traditional dance and speech about cultural traditions. Held in the large Instituto Central, it was a very exciting event, packed full with a lively audience. We took an excessive amount of pictures to capture our last get-together (well, not hopefully not last… they made me promise to come back which I fully intend to one day once I can afford it).
In addition to my despedidas with my students, I also had the opportunity to go see the Masaya Volcano (a surreal, unforgettable experience) and enjoy a farewell dinner with karaoke with my fellow FSD interns. My host family also prepared me traditional, heavy dishes of baho and nacatamals.
On Saturday night, after hugging Doña Amparo and starting to cry, I went to bed with my emotions all knotted up and out of my control. As I looked around my room, which was all packed up and ready to be moved out of, my mind instantly flitted back to nine weeks ago, when I first arrived. I remembered that first sense of panic I felt nine weeks ago when I first brought my luggage in and got a chance to sit down on my bed. I remember questioning myself about what I got myself into… doubting whether I could actually survive the next nine weeks on my own… whether I would be lonely out of my mind, whether I would be able to communicate, whether my project would have any success or whether I would enjoy myself at all… All of these feelings felt so foreign and distant that it seemed like years ago when I first arrived, even though it was just back in May.
I couldn’t sleep at all last night. My emotions were in haywire while my mind overflowed with replays of various unforgettable experiences that I had… I couldn’t stop thinking about every single thing I would miss… everything from the vivid colors of the streets that I have gotten myself accustomed to, the laughter and singing of my host family that I would wake up to every morning, and my students screaming my name when they saw me at the entrance of the school to the pure feeling of excitement of living in the center of the city would bring every time I set foot outside of my door. I had gotten so accustomed to living my daily routine in Nicaragua – from eating traditional food every meal and saluting familiar faces and local friends that I have made throughout the streets to simply all of the smells and sounds in the bustling streets that I had grown to love.
I departed the quiet house at 4:30 AM this morning to reach my flight on time. Doña Ritana woke up at 4 AM to see me off. We both couldn’t stop crying after hugging each other. I still can’t think about seeing Doña Ritana break out into tears without crying. Throughout the whole car ride to Managua/ throughout this plane ride, tears have been uncontrollably falling.
These nine weeks have flown by way too fast, but I am incredibly thankful for all of the experiences and relationships I have been privileged to develop. They will stay with me forever.
My Nicaraguan Loewenstern summer experience will always hold a very special place in my heart.
